yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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