i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
