I want to make a zoo with you.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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