Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
