My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
