Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
