yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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