chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
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