She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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