We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
