Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
