I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My feet surprised me
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
