How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
