and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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