I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Randomize
