We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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