Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
