Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
