he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
