I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
