if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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