Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize