How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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