dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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