well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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