Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Randomize
