Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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