My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
