Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
