I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
