im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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