Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
