just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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