just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
