there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
