I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
