She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
