I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
