yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
