Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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