Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
