Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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