I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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