can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
