two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
