Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
