I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
