then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
