Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
we're so committed to being not committed
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