I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
