my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
