Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize