We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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