i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
