Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
