If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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