remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
