you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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