I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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