I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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