I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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