i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
