im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
