sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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