WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
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ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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