I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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